I gave up on this blog a while ago, and I’ll give a better update soon, but this was just too good to share….
So, I slacked. 3 days in and I took one off. In my defense, I have had a cold, but still, that does not excuse what happened at Happy Hour.
I have religiously been using my Loseit app. Logging every calorie that passes my lips. I have been really good about this, but anyone who has ever tried to eat healthy can tell you the first week is TORTURE!
Last night a group of us went to Happy Hour. A few old coworkers showed up, and I was starving when we arrived. Besides being obsessive about my Loseit app, I am also cheap, so I ordered some weird fried item that claimed to be chicken. And then I had a soft pretzel. And then I had a quesadilla. With guacamole and sour cream.
Today is a new day, and despite my gluttony, I am down 2 lbs. Time to get back on the wagon.
I couldn’t sleep last night. Summer starts in September in San Francisco. With summer comes balmy 60 degree nights that result in restless tossing and turning. It could have been the weather, or the massive Musinex I took as I was going to bed. Just because they use the stuff to make Meth doesn’t mean it is the reason I was up all night.
Due to my lack of sleep, I was up in plenty of time to make it to the gym, run a quick mile, do 30 more minutes of circuit training and head into work. I even had time to blow out my hair! It was kind of amazing. I have to say the worst part of this isn’t going to the gym. I love exercise, I feel accomplished, and a bit hardcore when I am done, it’s the eating. I have the absolute WORST sweet tooth. The cupcake truck that parks down the street for lunch doesn’t help.
I find myself avoiding leaving the office because there are so many great places to eat in this city, and the snack closet is a bit too close to my desk for my liking. I know the first week or two of “eating healthy” is always the worst, I just need to power through.
p.s. A non-homeless man complimented my dress today, so I’m calling that a win!
I have not shared my project with anyone close to me, but it’s like they already know something is going on. This weekend I went out with my roommate and my best friend. Heads up- I live with a dude, not just a guy, a straight-as-an-arrow, sports-watching, trash-taking-out, dude. Back on topic here, Living with a guy is great, you never have to explain yourself, or talk about the awful blind date you went on, explain why you didn’t make it home last night, or care about any of the above… or so I thought.
Well, all of my illusions were shattered Friday night and 3 happy hour bars later when I went to visit the ladies room and left my best friend and my roomie alone at the bar. 5 minutes and a few beers later, and I find out he has been grilling my best friend about my apparent lack of a love/social life while I was gone. Seriously, how awkward is that?
I kind of flipped out a bit, mostly because my illusions of the drama-free coed roommate situation seemed to be blasted. He came back to the table before I could understand the exact context, but not before I could freak out. So, I guess this whole project was well planned, because even my roommate thinks it’s time for me to get my act together.
I can run 5 miles, no problem, heck, I ran a half marathon a month ago. Circuit Training? It has been too long since I have forced myself to do a squat, lift a free weight, or pretend I knew what I was doing in the weight room and my body rebelled. I made it through my 30 minutes and walked into the office perky and annoying on a Monday morning.
I’m skipping over the #2 reason I’m single for now. We just met and I think it’s awkward when virtual strangers spill their guts to each other. We will get there, I’m sure, but for now let’s leave that discussion between me and my therapist. (I’m 31, single, with insurance; of course I go to therapy!)
I am single because I am afraid I might miss out on life. I spend a lot of time day dreaming about my life. What if I win the lotto tomorrow, what do I really want to do? 9/10 times the answer is taking a town car to the airport, because a limo is tacky and the train smells, and hop on the first plane going anywhere. Okay not anywhere, maybe anywhere with a Four Seasons.
Awesome plan, right? Maybe walk the Camino de Santiago de Compostela, or meet a hot single Greek shipping magnet while sunning myself on the Almalfi coast. If I am in a relationship I can’t do this. If I am in a relationship I have to bring him along, consider his choices for the destination, or at the very least tell the nice Greek man, “No thank you, I will not go skinny dipping in the Mediterranean with you then run off to Nice to get married and divorced this weekend.”
I know a relationship will not doom me to a life in the suburbs with 2.5 kids and a Subaru. The challenge is I am 31 and if I want those 2.5 kids, I need to get a move on, I also need to reconcile that a relationship and children do not mean I won’t get to go to Cape Town someday.
Let me start this off by saying that I do not think overweight people are destined to spend their lives alone. If you are comfortable in your own skin, no matter what size you are, you will be happy and confident and happy and confident people are attractive and attractive people who are happy and confident are usually in relationships.
Right now, at my current size, I am not comfortable. Since I am not comfortable I am not happy and confident, blah blah blah, this is one of the reasons I’m single.
So now the question is what am I going to do about it? Well, I have a gym membership, but I have not been going regularly. I have downloaded all of the food apps, but I don’t use them. I am not an idiot so I understand I need to burn more calories than I eat of I want to lose weight. My challenge is motivation.
So here we are back to my life and deadlines and accountability. I dint want to say I’m going to lose 10lbs by Tuesday, but I need a plan and the one I chose was based on a twitter project my favorite Gossip Girl Kristen Bell did a few months ago
This journal/blog/experiment may get a bit Bridgette Jones-ie on us here but I will try to keep it interesting.
Any warm blooded, non-coupled American female of a certain age (like over 13) has asked herself this question.
Reality is, they are lying and you, Miss WhyAmISingle, are correct.
Please don’t click on Facebook just yet. Let me explain. You are correct in the assumption you are single because you need to come to terms with your insecurities. There are things about yourself that you need to change before you are ready to be in a relationship and yes, your hair might be too blonde.
Getting back to the real purpose we are here, me, let’s discuss why I am single. To keep things simple I have narrowed it down to three main reasons I am perpetually single:
1. I have gained some weight, okay, a good amount of weight, over the past ten years and I just can’t get comfortable. Can I still shop at normal stores and participate in physical activity? Yes, but for me and my comfort level, I’m too big.
2. I am scared of being hurt/ needing someone. Twice I have made epic life decisions based on relationships I was in and twice I was left alone and devastated.
3. I am afraid of happy ever after. I am afraid I’m going to meet Prince Charming, get married, have four kids and never climb Mt Kilimanjaro.
So in the next 107 days, I plan on addressing these issues head on, but first I’m going to have some cheese. But after that, I’m on this. I will be sharing my experiences and in theory, my self-discovery/improvement plan will net someone who wants to buy me a Christmas Present.
I am on a mission. It is September 6, 2012, and my goal is to have a boyfriend by Christmas. This gives me 109 days (and 2+ hours) to make this happen. I feel this is a totally achievable goal.
I am a 31 year old professional. I live in San Francisco, CA. my parents love me and have been married for over 30 years. I have had boyfriends and I have been in love.
The purpose of those statements is to prove to you, and myself, that I am normal-ish. I am not crazy, and I’m not going to boil your rabbit. I just think it is time.
Okay, that sounds weird. Let me explain. I am extremely comfortable being single and I enjoy my life. I have some great friends and I love my job. I have hobbies and interests, and I have 2 eyebrows and I shower regularly. While I may not be Jenifer Anniston, I’m not a troll or a Kardashian either.
The purpose of this blog/journal is to provide myself with a goal to work towards. A mission. Professionally and academically I always worked best when there is a deadline and a clear assignment.
Unlike Intro to American Politics, my dating life has always lacked a clear syllabus or due date. I have never thought I would die alone. I have never felt I needed a man to sponsor me (not going to lie I have joked about it and it would be nice). I tend to approach relationships and dating as a way to kill time until something better comes along, or I get bored.
So, here I am, embarking on a semester of self-discovery, self-improvement, and hopeful some fun and stupid stories with the ultimate goal of having someone, besides my cousins and parents, to drink hot toddies with on December 25th.
So sit back, enjoy, and don’t feel bad if you laugh at me a bit, because I too think this is a bit lame.